Unpacking Halloween

Right, so I’m not going to bore you with all the details, but the last couple of months have been…well, “busy” isn’t even the word. Short version: I reapplied for university, got accepted, quit my job, moved 90 miles away, and started class. I’ve been absolutely swamped, but things are starting to calm down now.

Or are they?

As of this writing, it’s late night/early morning in the middle of September. The hot weather here aside, we seem to be in the last days of Summer. It’s hanging on with life support and has a few good breaths left in it, but it’s about to knock off. I can only speak for where I am, but in every store I’ve been to lately, the Back-to-School stuff has given way to plastic hockey masks, Satanic napkins, and slutty bee outfits. Plus, the best Halloween Countdown on the internet just started up, and that’s all the evidence I need that it’s time to get going with mine.

So, I’ve got some stuff lined up with guest appearances by some of my other favorite online personalities, spooks and kooks, and ghouls and goblins, and all that. Or, at the very least, I’m sure I’ll ramble on about another Sleepaway Camp movie or something.

I mentioned I moved, right? Part of that meant finally cleaning out a storage unit I’ve been renting for the last few years. It’s nice to no longer have to pay for that thing. It’s also nice to find SO MUCH COOL STUFF I forgot I owned. I swear, I’m not exaggerating when I say that I opened that thing for the first time in years and saw stuff I didn’t even recognize (I have a crock pot?). Also, 4 pizza cutters, 4 can openers, and 3 wine openers apparently, and I have no idea how when or how that happened.


And then there was this. When you move in a hurry, as I did several years ago, you get to a point where you start just throwing random crap in bags and boxes, sometimes with no rhyme or reason. Whatever gets that shit on the truck. What has been lying dormant in THIS BAG for the last several years is an assortment of dark wonders that I have absolutely no memory of tossing together, but I’m so glad I did.

So, let’s open this dusty old bag and see what’s inside, shall we? It’s time to UNPACK HALLOWEEN!

True Blood

First up, a bottle of True Blood…blood. I know you might think I’m just making this up for effect, but I’m literally watching True Blood as I type this…for the first time. I don’t know how I’ve gone this long not having seen it, but it kind of came and went without me ever taking that plunge. So, a good friend of mine decided to help me out with that, and a few weeks ago, we started watching it from the first episode whenever I’d drop by. But I’m also watching it a little on my own. I’m in the middle of Season 1, Episode 8 and due to some weird cosmic convergence, as I type these very words, Sookeh’s dumb brother just walked in with a six-pack of this stuff and is feeding it to a wounded vampire. IT WAS MEANT TO BE!


Freddy and Jason heads! I’ve got a confession. I think these came from one of my really cool blogger friends when they sent me a care package, but I’m really not sure. It’s been a long time and a lot of things in this bag exist in an orange and black haze of presents, after-Halloween shopping sprees, and leftovers from childhood. These fit in there somewhere, but who the hell knows where? If you’re reading this and you do, please let me know and accept my apologies if I’m not giving you proper credit.

side heads

Oh, and they’ve got cool, gory necks.


Halloween Candles! There isn’t much left of the actual candles here, because after being stuck in an incredibly hot storage unit for years, they melted, oozed out, and fused together. But, there is a little left in each one, and that’s good enough for me. My place is stinking of Halloween right this second.

It’s a Little Rubber Bat! And that’s that.

eek box

Eek Box! I got this many years ago from my friend Tammy. It’s hanging in my bathroom right now, and will continue to come November 1st.

goth box

Goth Box! You should know by now how I spend my Saturday nights. When I first discovered Cleopatra Records and their early Goth compilations, it kind of sent me down a path that I never came back from, but it’s paid off well. One of the earliest ones was the Goth Box box set, which turned me on to a lot of bands that I went on to love. This is the video compilation that acts as a companion piece to the CD box set, only with totally different songs. It’s odd that it’s in this bag though, because I’m kind of anal about organization. I don’t know what would have prompted me to pack this separate from all my other VHS tapes and DVD’s.


Torture Tools Garland! Now this one’s not a mystery. It’s garland made of bloody cleavers and machetes and things. This was sent to me in a care package by my super rad friend Amy years ago, but I never got round to opening it. But, now that it’s the season for demonic decoration and I have a new place to decorate, it’s going to make an appearance.

shot glasses

Freddy and Jason Shot Glasses! This was the result of an after-Halloween sale, which everyone knows is the best place and time to stock up. I don’t think there is another horror franchise out there that has produced better merchandise in terms of quantity and quality than A Nightmare on Elm Street, and I’m kind of a sucker for all of it, even if Freddy looks a little like Grandpa Sawyer here.


Screamers! I love these guys! You’ve seen a million of these things before. The eyes light up and they make the same horror screaming sound that just about every other screaming toy that hits the shelves around mid-September makes. By the way, do you how long it took to get this shot? Do you know how hard it is to time the squeezing of these things just right so that all the eyes are lit up at the same second, still giving you time to actually take the picture? Well, it was a really long damn time. I hope you’re happy.

skull cups

Skull Cups! I uh, don’t know what to say about these ones. It’s a cup and shot glasses that look like skulls. That’s all I got.


Let’s finish strong! Blow-up Skeleton! Why strong? Because, nostalgia. I’ve had this guy since I was a little kid. Somewhere, there are pictures of him inflated and sitting on the living room couch round about 1985. If memory serves me correctly, it may have a tiny pinhole leak in it now though. I think I had some trouble with it when I tried to blow it up a few years ago. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.

Thanks for looking at a bunch of poorly composed pictures of Halloween themed crap that I hastily threw into a bag 5 or 6 years ago and forgot about. I feel we’re off and running now.


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